I was blog surfing a few days ago when I came across
this site. I was happily reading away and then I found these words.
“And no one had warned me that one day she would be the most treasured and important being in my life and the next she was just an annoyance. No one warned me that I would actually fall out of love with Bella and would resent her for being so big and loud and rude. And worst of all, no one warned me that I would have moments of also resenting Lily for changing my relationship with Bella so drastically.Of course as soon as I spoke to other mothers of two, I found out that all these feelings are normal and very common. And now that they are a thing of the past I can understand why no one told me. But I also think it's a shame that this isn't discussed, because if I'd known that it was all normal and that I should expect my relationship with Bella to change (even if only briefly) then I may not have felt so horrifically guilty.Of course, it only lasted a few weeks, but during those brief weeks I felt like more of a failure than I've ever felt before.”
Now I know it has been nine months since I had Ashton and seriously life is great, easy again. But in those first 6 weeks I would talk about how I was feeling to friends and how I was missing my life before Ashton and no one seemed to understand. Then I found thses words. These words have healed me in a sense, the guilt I had about my feelings vanished the instant I read these words. Why didn't someone tell me at the time it was all ok? I was never ashamed to discuss honestly how I was feeling, even though I rarely got positive acknowledgement in return.
Anyway I just really wanted somewhere to keep these words so that next time (if I can talk my husband into a next time), I will be reminded that my feelings are all ok!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
I haven't posted for ages I thought I would share some photos of the kids. Can you believe Ashton is 9 months old? Man it feels like yesterday that I was struggling through that newborn phase and here we are with a beautiful little crawler/climber/squealer/laugher/heart stopper of a son. I love him too much for words. I love the way Ellyse watches over him, shows him new things, asks "are you ok sweety?". She is just so patient with him. Watching them together just melts my heart......most of the time anyway.