Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Finding the right words

I was blog surfing a few days ago when I came across

this site. I was happily reading away and then I found these words.
“And no one had warned me that one day she would be the most treasured and important being in my life and the next she was just an annoyance. No one warned me that I would actually fall out of love with Bella and would resent her for being so big and loud and rude. And worst of all, no one warned me that I would have moments of also resenting Lily for changing my relationship with Bella so drastically.Of course as soon as I spoke to other mothers of two, I found out that all these feelings are normal and very common. And now that they are a thing of the past I can understand why no one told me. But I also think it's a shame that this isn't discussed, because if I'd known that it was all normal and that I should expect my relationship with Bella to change (even if only briefly) then I may not have felt so horrifically guilty.Of course, it only lasted a few weeks, but during those brief weeks I felt like more of a failure than I've ever felt before.”

Now I know it has been nine months since I had Ashton and seriously life is great, easy again. But in those first 6 weeks I would talk about how I was feeling to friends and how I was missing my life before Ashton and no one seemed to understand. Then I found thses words. These words have healed me in a sense, the guilt I had about my feelings vanished the instant I read these words. Why didn't someone tell me at the time it was all ok? I was never ashamed to discuss honestly how I was feeling, even though I rarely got positive acknowledgement in return.

Anyway I just really wanted somewhere to keep these words so that next time (if I can talk my husband into a next time), I will be reminded that my feelings are all ok!


Cass said...

Very wise words your found. Glad things are better now too.

Karen said...

Andrea I often think if all us Mum's were more honest about the tough times it would help other mums cope better.
This is timely for me - I'll remember this when babe no. 3 arrives soon and changes our family dynamic.
Thanks for sharing.

Kylie said...

thankyou for sharing this Andrea

Juni said...

Thanks for sharing.. they sound like very valuable words which will be useful for me too in the future sometime. It is sad to know that you felt so unsure and didn't get any affirmations from anyone.. that sucks :(

Andrea said...

Thanks for the comments girls, I truely appreciate them.